Just finished my run and although I prefer doing this at the end of the day I'm going to go ahead and do it now because tried and true if today is like the past few days I will not in fact "do it later".
For maybe one of the first times in my life I've been making significant, noticeable, and steady progress with my fitness goals. I've been exercising for a long time now consistantly, but the pattern has always been find motivation, go at it really hard, burn out, do the bare minimum until I can find motivation again. Or sometimes I end up causing myself injuries, woops. Now I am limiting how much I exercise even if I feel really, good. I Exercise for a limited amount of time but I put my all into it and I've noticed my stamina is really increasing!
Also I feel like maybe I am losing weight/slimming down/toning up a little? My body perception changes day to day so I don't know but I'll enjoy the feeling while it lasts.
My mom invited me over to watch 50 shades of gray with my co workers, and acted shocked and hurt when I declined (I was polite about it). First of all she knows I don't want to watch that movie, but she always talks to me about it like I like it. Second I hate 90% of my co-workers. Any of the ones I do like aren't going either, and she knows this too but also acts surprised when I mention I don't like them. I can't tell if she's not listening, or doesn't care, or?
Also she's been doing this thing where, especially if we're in a group of people, she feels the need to call me out on random things or put me down out of nowhere. I'm not saying anyone loves to be criticized, I certainly don't but I think I take being criticized okay. I do think there's a time and place for it and when I'm asking about a cookie, suddenly ranting about my work ethic in front of my family I only see every few years is maybe uncalled for and hurtful. Maybe I'm too sensitive. It keeps happening though, and it's made me really uncomfortable to talk around her so I've maybe been avoiding it.
Kind of on the same topic, she's been bringing up how "thin and pretty" I used to be, and again I don't think she means it to be hurtful, but as someone who struggles with this I wish she would stop. She shared a picture the other day and it was from when I was at my thinnest and it was kind of weird to see. I don't really know if I was necessarily under weight, but I know the things I had been doing to maintain that weight weren't healthy, so I'm trying to not beat myself up for gaining weight back. I'm healthier now, but still.
I went to the post office today, it wasn't too crowded for once. I got the newer girl who works there for the second time, the first time was before Christmas and she was really sweet and she told me I smelled nice! She was sweet again and she remembered me, and also she thanked me for the cookies I brought around Christmas time and said they were delicious, I'm always surprised when people remember me so it made me feel special. She reminds me a lot of a girl I used to be really good friends with, we were only friends for a pretty short amount of time but we had a lot of fun together and I think about her sometimes.
I feel silly because I've been low key freaking out about tiering this love live event and I thought I was doing terrible and I didn't think I'd ever catch up and weh weh weh. I'm tier two, so I'm going to keep at it but it's nice to not feel like I'm swimming up stream anymore! Because I'm silly, it's kind of important to me that I get these cards and do well in this event, for silly reasons.
This time next week I'll officially be in Pittsburgh and I'm so excited!